I Left My Provincial Job

When I went back for my first re-orientation shift after baby-girl was born, I was seriously overwhelmed. I was slow, I hadn't remembered anything that pertained to doing my job or the computer system. Phones were constantly ringing and there was a weekends worth of ER discharges to process. The whole day, "WTF am I doing here?!" rang through my head... that was the beginning of knowing I had to quit, move on, and figure out what I was truly meant to do, but because it was a secured union job, that I had gone to school for... I stayed. Because it was "a smart" thing to do.

I knew way back in 2011 that I was to do more, beyond a Unit Clerk. I knew, before crossing that graduation stage, that I wasn't done yet. I whispered the words aloud, "I'm not done yet" to myself as I watched others cross the stage with degrees, and masters' degrees, Now, I definitely will not be striving for a MBA or anything, but, ya never know! So, even 10 years ago, I knew I wasn't meant to be a Unit Clerk for the rest of my career-life

I left my job. I was a casual Unit Clerk at the local hospital, picked up shifts when I could, and always enjoyed the social aspect. I left a future in health care, I left job security, I left possible benefits, a decently paying job, only a half hour from home on low traffic roads. I left future security, I left the potential of a secured Union line/position.

Now, I know some people reading this, might shake their head and think I’m bat-shit crazy for leaving job security, and flip to the next article. I’d be lying if I said part of me didn’t agree with them, maybe I am crazy.

But, You know what else I left?

I left the stress of knowing I had to work at least one shift every 3 months to keep employment, and stressing even more about how and when I could fit in that shift. I left the stress of finding childcare for a 12hr shift, and being away from my kids for 13ish hours a day. I left the anxiety of reassuring myself nothing ‘bad’ was going to happen. I left behind trying to amp myself up the entire week leading up to my shift. I left behind having to call I.T. because I couldn’t remember my passwords, or because the printer crapped out. I left the stress of having to call multiple staff, trying to get a Night RN shift covered in 3Hrs. I left sitting at a desk to someone else. I left behind feeling like my loyalties were divided between trying to keep my foot in the door because its a "smart thing to do" and where I feel I am being lead.

I have decided (along with my husbands support) to be a 100% Stay At Home Mom until both kids are in school full time. So for the next three and a half years, I will be mom, wife, housekeeper, gardener, crafter, budgeter, volunteer. I will be home, raising my babies and looking after the property. In this day and age, I am SO thankful that I have the option to be home with my kids. I am beyond thankful my husband has as job that supports us all and our future projects. I am grateful that THIS is my life, and we have the option to do so.

I know not everyone has this opportunity or choose work and daycare options, or have close relatives to help with childcare. Everyone is doing what THEY FEEL is best for THEIR OWN family. Choosing to leave my job, is what’s best for our family at this current time.

I feel that I am being called elsewhere, I don't know where, but I know my future does not lie in health care. Leaving was a leap of faith, blind faith, and I trust that God will clear a path when the time is right. Until He does, I am determined to be a blessing at home, I am decided to be happy wherever life is, or leads me.

So yes, maybe I am crazy for trusting my gut and quitting future job security, but I am also crazy excited to see what these next years as "unemployed" look like for me. "The Smart" thing, is faith. Maybe Spirit is waiting for me to officially be done work, and will open up so many opportunities that are just around the next corner.